


First Time Pays For All

by der_tanzer



Series: Accidents of Fate [3]
Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-18
Updated: 2011-10-18
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:24:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the best orgasm of his life, finally throwing forty years of mediocre sex into clear perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Time Pays For All

“Have you got it, Boz? Are you okay?” Nick asked, concerned. Murray was holding his arm with one hand and the rail with the other as they navigated their way from the salon to the galley.

“I’m fine, Nick. Just go slow,” he added, a little nervously. It was his first day home after long weeks in the rehab wing of the hospital and he was walking pretty well on level floors. Stairs were another matter. He could do it, but the possibility of falling terrified him. Nick led him all the way to his room, ignoring Murray’s gentle assertions that he could make it on his own, and tried to talk him into going to bed. But Murray had been away too long. He had things to do.

“If you really want to help, I could use a hand getting some of this stuff organized. I had a lot of projects going when I got hurt. And I have to rebuild that tracking system. Not to mention the cases you guys are working. You need to bring me up to speed on those first, I think.”

“Yeah,” Cody said slowly, running his hand through his hair, “or you could just take a nap.”

“Guys, I’ve been in bed for almost three months. I was just asleep two hours ago. Come on, I’ve been so bored.”

“All right,” Nick sighed. “It wouldn’t hurt to go over our cases. We only have a couple and you could be lying down while we talk.”

“Subtle,” Cody muttered. Murray laughed at Nick’s discomfited expression and agreed to the compromise. He sat down on his cot, took off his shoes, and stretched out with a small sigh of relief that he hoped they didn’t hear. They did, but they were good friends and pretended they didn’t.

Nick covered him with a light blanket and sank down onto the floor by the cot, his arms folded beside Murray’s knee. Cody took the desk chair and rolled it over to them so they could talk. After a few minutes Murray asked for a notebook and started writing things down. They’d expected the conversation to put him to sleep, but instead he got up to speed and puzzled out a clue that’d had them baffled for days. They forgot all about making him take a nap, or letting him rest at all, and Murray was quite pleased to be back at his desk as if nothing had changed. He hoped very much that nothing had, in spite of his scars and steel plates.

They worked together until after five, when a knock on the door overhead broke through their concentration. That reminded Murray that something _had_ changed—something more interesting and profound than his broken legs. Cody went up to see who it was, but Murray’s blushing smile told them he already knew.

“Want to get back in bed?” Nick asked, dryly teasing. Murray blushed darker, shaking his head.

“I think I want to stay up. And if I change my mind, I’m sure Ted will help.”

“Put you to bed? Yeah, probably.”

Murray rolled his eyes and declined to answer. He couldn’t win at witty repartee. But when Nick got up to leave, he laid his hand on Murray’s shoulder for a moment and his expression was kind.

Ted came in still dressed for work, handcuffs on his belt and a pistol in his shoulder holster. He’d always come to the hospital armed and ready for trouble, too, and Murray suddenly realized that Ted simply wasted no time in getting to him each day. The thought sent a pleasant little thrill down his spine and the excitement showed in his welcoming smile.

“First day home and you’re already hard at work?” Quinlan said. He had to ignore the meaning of that smile for now or it would destroy him.

“I’ve gotten so behind,” Murray replied cheerfully. “Gosh, I missed working. I missed my cabin and my books and my own bed with the blankets that smell like Downy. I know it isn’t much, but it’s home. You—uh—you haven’t been down here before, have you?”

“Nope. You sure you’re okay, kid? You look tired.”

“Well, maybe a little. I guess I could lie down and you could have my chair. Sorry, there’s not really a lot of room.” He gripped the edge of the desk and pushed himself up on trembling arms. Ted moved quickly, instinctively, to grab him around the waist lest he fall. Murray, who had no intention of falling, still loved the attention. He knew he should be used to those strong hands on his body but his heart still gave a funny little throb as he let Quinlan walk him over to the cot.

While he was in the hospital it seemed like Ted had been touching him all the time. He came to the therapy sessions whenever he could and, on the days he was there, wouldn’t let anyone else lift Murray, or hold him when he tried to walk. Some evenings when Murray was especially tired and downhearted, Ted climbed into bed with him and held him until he slept. But mostly they just sat close together and held hands while watching TV, the curtain pulled around the bed to shield them from prying eyes. So Murray was accustomed to his hands, his arms, the support of his broad chest that always seemed warm no matter how chilly the air conditioning was that day.

But this felt different. Just having Ted’s arm around his waist, the feel of his hand muted by two layers of shirts, was somehow more intimate even than the time he’d been stricken with a muscle spasm after therapy and Ted had massaged his bare leg until a nurse was free to take over. Maybe it was just being at home, alone in his own space where anything could happen, that excited him. And if Murray had his way, something would.

Murray relished the sturdy strength that held him up so easily and was a little disappointed when Ted lowered him gently onto the cot and sat down in the desk chair. It didn’t make him feel any better that it had been his idea.

“How was your day?” he asked, feeling shy again. “Do anything interesting? Make any big arrests?”

“Nah. It was mostly paperwork. What’ve you guys got planned for the weekend?”

“Not much. I still have a lot of catching up to do, and they never let me have any fun right after I get out of the hospital, anyway.”

“How close are they watching you?”

“You mean right now?” Murray grinned, casually removing his overshirt so he could lie down.

“For starters.”

“Well, I think they expect you to spend the night. And we haven’t eaten yet, but they’ll make noise in the galley when they come down to fix supper so it won’t be a surprise. Also, you could lock the door.”

“You don’t waste time, do you?” Quinlan asked rhetorically, and for the first time he sounded a little nervous.

“I—I just mean that no one’s watching. So, you know, you don’t have to worry. About whatever you’re worrying about.”

“I ain’t worried,” he said, but it sounded like a bluff.

“Really? Because you still kind of look like you are. What’s wrong, Ted? You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to be—presumptuous. In fact, I’ve been presuming a lot, haven’t I?” Thinking back, he suddenly realized that nothing had been said for sure. In fact, Ted hadn’t really done anything for him yet that Nick or Cody wouldn’t do. They had both taken turns assisting in therapy and doing transfers when Ted wasn’t there, and Cody had once helped him use the bedpan when the nurse didn’t come in time. Maybe Ted liked him enough to be his friend and look after him when he was hurt, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be his lover. This was why Murray talked too much during the early stages of most relationships—to make sure everyone was on the same page. But this time it hadn’t seemed like anything really needed saying. He vowed right then to go back to his old philosophy—that _everything_ needed saying—no matter how many times it got him punched in the mouth.

“Well,” Ted was saying and he struggled to pay attention, “I don’t know what all you’ve been presuming, so maybe. But I doubt there’s any harm in it.”

Murray swallowed hard and made himself focus on Ted’s face, determined to see what was really there, rather than assuming the best, as he’d been doing all these weeks.

“So does that mean you want to spend the night?”

A flicker of uncertainty, almost like fear, crossed his face, and though he said yes, Murray didn’t believe it. He lay back with a small sigh and took off his glasses to rub his eyes.

“Look, kid, I gotta be honest with you,” he said, and it sounded so like a one-handed brushoff that Murray could have cried. Ted saw the look on his face and knew he’d made a mistake somewhere, but such was the nature of his confession that he didn’t know any more than that. “The thing is, I—well—I’ve never done this before.”

“Done what?” Murray asked, turning wide, hopeful eyes upon him.

“This. I never had a—I don’t even know the word. A lover, I guess. A boyfriend. If that’s what you are, then you’re the first.”

“What are you saying? Oh, Ted, don’t tell me you’re straight and you just happened to fall in love with me. Because I’ve been down that road and believe me, it never works out. Even with real physical attraction, it’s just—”

“Shut up,” he interrupted, not unkindly. “I never sat down and tried to think of a label for it, but I’m pretty sure I’m not straight.”

“Then what… You’re not a virgin, are you? Don’t tell me that, either. I wouldn’t believe it, for one thing.”

“No, I ain’t a virgin. I’ve been with women—a few at least—and a lot of men. I just never had a boyfriend, that’s all.”

“Then what—I mean how—or rather _who_ …?”

“Strangers, mostly. Guys I picked up in bars overseas during the wars, rent boys in West Hollywood, people like that. I never spent the night with a man. Just got blowjobs in cars or bathrooms or wherever was handy.” He spoke casually, as if it wasn’t at all important. As if he wasn’t ashamed of the fact that no man had ever touched him without being paid. But inside his soul was writhing.

“You never spent the night with a man?” Murray repeated, as if that were the important part. “You’ve never fallen asleep with a lover in your arms, or woken up beside him in the morning? Oh, Ted, that’s—that’s such a shame.”

“You’re really something, kid. I tell you I have to pay people to suck me off and you’re sad about the lack of romance in my life?”

“Well, yes. Ted, I understand the need for secrecy. I know you have to think about your reputation and your career. And I’m the last person to judge anyone for paying for sex. If I hadn’t done it, I’d probably still be a virgin. At least you got girls for free, right?”

“A few. It’s easier to pay for them, though. They don’t expect as much, and they’re safer to get caught with. Anyway, a mouth’s a mouth.”

“Is that really all you’ve ever done?” Murray was most curious about that and he hoped it wasn’t rude to ask.

“No, of course not,” Quinlan said harshly. Then he tempered it a little by adding, “Not _ever_. I fucked a few girls when I was younger. But the guys? I don’t know. I used to blow them in return, sometimes, but I quit when the department started warning us about that GRID disease. I don’t need that kind of trouble.”

“They call it AIDS now,” Murray said helpfully. “But, yeah, you have to watch out for that kind of thing with professionals. I hope you still get tested.”

“Couple times a year. There’s a free clinic up in the city that doesn’t ask a lot of questions. But I don’t get around much anymore, anyway.”

“So why now? Why me? If you’ve gone your whole life without a lover, and for the sake of a job that you still have, what are you doing here now? Unless I’ve completely misread the situation, in which case I think I’d like you to go so I can die of humiliation alone.”

“No, you haven’t misread anything,” Ted confessed, lowering his head. “I just—I just wanted you. You seem kind of—harmless. Almost innocent. Too honest for me to have to worry about you cheating or lying, or trying to blackmail me.”

“That’s it? You like me because I won’t blackmail you? It’s hard to believe it took you your whole life to meet _that_ standard.”

“Don’t laugh at me, kid.”

“I’m not. I just—well—it’s not a lot to ask.”

“Shouldn’t be. But here’s the deal. It takes a long time to get to know someone well enough to be sure. You have to be friends first, and I ain’t too good at making friends. It’s all about trust and I don’t trust people.”

“But you trust me? Until two months ago you didn’t like me.”

“There’s a lot of different kinds of liking. I wanted you the first time I saw you. And I figured out pretty quick that you were too goofy and naïve to be really devious. Since then I’ve mostly been trying to decide if you were gay, and if you could stand me long enough to have any kind of relationship.”

“Did you figure out either of those before the accident?”

“No. I suspected you were gay, but I didn’t know for sure until that day in the hospital. Your friends took a hell of a risk.”

“I never would have let them do that if I’d known,” Murray apologized.

“That would have been a shame,” he whispered, and for a moment neither of them spoke. The waves lapped outside, the boat rocked and the wood creaked, and then Murray was smiling again.

“So you want to be my boyfriend?” he asked slyly. Ted gave him a sharp look that softened under Murray’s smile.

“Yeah, I guess that’s what I was getting at. But I don’t really know what that means. I might not be good at it.”

“No, probably not at first. But I’m falling in love with you, Ted, and I think you feel the same. That’ll help.”

“I don’t know much about love, either.”

“We can figure it out. I’d like you to stay the night if you can. We’ve never really had any privacy before.”

“Sure. I’d ask if this bed of yours is big enough for two, but you’ve probably tried it out a few times.”

“Well, yes. A few. I haven’t been with a _lot_ of men, but I had four or five sort of serious relationships before I came here, and a couple not so serious ones after. But this isn’t the best place for romancing, with the guys always around and so many close neighbors.”

“They seem to romance all right.”

“They were here first. And I think they’re more accepted because they’ve always been together. It’s different when I bring strange guys around.”

“It might be hard for us to be seen together,” Quinlan said thoughtfully. He didn’t want to think about Murray having ‘strange guys’ in the bed where he planned to sleep with him tonight.

“We’ll figure it out. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” He held out his hand, as he had so often in the hospital, and Ted gripped it gently. “And for tonight, I’d be happy to suck you, if that’s what you want.”

“I wouldn’t turn it down. But, just out of curiosity, what else do you do?”

“Me? I do just about anything. I mean, within reason. I’m told I give good head, and if you wanted to reciprocate, I guarantee I’m clean. And if you want to—to make love, I can do that, too.”

“I don’t know what—how’s that different?”

“Oh, well, technically they’re all making love, if you love the one you’re with. But I meant if you wanted to—to fuck me. I’d like that, too.”

“Really?” Ted asked before he could stop himself. “You _like_ …?”

“Is that so terrible? What did you think men did in bed?”

“I don’t know. I guess I knew some guys put up with it. I never figured anyone actually asked for it.”

“Well, I do. From men I love, at least. And I wouldn’t ask you to reciprocate that far. A blowjob would suffice. Or a handjob, even. You’re new at this and I can be patient.”

“I never thought I’d be new at anything again,” he said ruefully.

“It’s okay, Ted. We’ll just take it slow and see what happens.” As he spoke, he tugged on Quinlan’s hand, drawing him finally out of the chair and onto the edge of the bed. He sat up to make room, crossing his impossibly long legs and tucking his feet up under his thighs.

“You sure are—limber,” Ted murmured, his mouth suddenly dry.

“I should be. You helped with my therapy, remember?” The words were innocent enough, but his expression suggested something else entirely. Ted stared at him, unable to decide how best to answer that, and suddenly realized that he was squeezing Murray’s thigh. He didn’t even know how his hand had gotten there and, once he became aware of it, he couldn’t seem to let go.

“I still didn’t build any muscle, though, did I?” Murray asked self-consciously, as if that were what Ted was looking for.

“You’re just fine,” he said lamely.

“You think so? I guess you must like skinny men.”

Ted nodded, his eyes still fixed on that narrow thigh and the sharp angle of the bent knee. Murray saw him blush and smiled sweetly.

“Do you want to kiss me, Ted?” he whispered. For all of the intimacy they’d shared so far, this would still be their first kiss and both were a little wary. It seemed like so much was riding on it. But Ted nodded and Murray leaned in without pausing to think about it, afraid of ruining the moment. He wrapped his arms around Ted’s neck and, as their lips met, the hand that wasn’t on his thigh slid around his waist. This was what he wanted, what he’d been looking forward to for more than two months, and Ted’s sweet, searching kiss was no disappointment. Murray worked himself closer without breaking contact and let his left hand trail down Ted’s arm, stroking lightly before crossing to his hard, if not completely flat, stomach.

Ted felt a momentary flash of embarrassment, a mingling of self-conscious impulses inspired by his age, his lined face and thinning hair, his bulging but slightly soft muscles. He wondered briefly if Murray, accustomed to pretty young men, would change his mind if he saw Ted naked. Maybe they could make love in the dark, he thought, and then Murray’s graceful hand was on his belt, pulling it open and fumbling most enticingly with the top button of his fly. Ted’s fears didn’t entirely dissipate, but his cock rose up to overpower them and he turned himself over to Murray’s care, body and soul.

The fingers that opened his jeans were undeniably skilled, but Ted chose to think of it as a natural rather than acquired talent. Probably the same thing that let him build miniature electronics also gave him the ability to jerk a man off like a pro. They slipped down under the waistband of his boxers, skillfully cupping and straightening his cock as it swelled, pulling it free of the restrictive fabric. Ted was used to that—a disembodied hand inside his clothes, too hurried to undress, too impersonal to want to look—but this was the first time it was ever accompanied by a kiss. By the sense that the man who touched him actually sought to please, not just to satisfy. Ted’s arms tightened around Murray’s slender waist, one hand dropping to squeeze his bony ass, and for a few long seconds he thought he could happily stay there forever. But it was too early for forever, and he wanted something more for this, their very first time. Regretfully, he broke the kiss and leaned away.

“You better stop,” he sighed, taking Murray’s wrist and halfheartedly trying to disengage him.

“Why?” Murray asked, resisting Ted’s feeble effort and lightly thumbing his leaking slit instead.

“Because I’m gonna be done before you get started.”

“I know,” Murray grinned. “I just want to get the easy one out of the way. Then you can take a nap,” he went on, still tickling and caressing, “and we’ll have supper with the guys. Maybe watch some TV. And later tonight, or maybe tomorrow morning, we’ll do something _really_ fun. Something you’ll want to last longer for.”

Ted looked him in the face and shivered with anticipation. He remembered what he’d told the kid just a few minutes ago, that he seemed harmless. Safe and almost—innocent. Now he wondered how he could have been so far wrong. How could he have ever thought Murray innocent, with those wicked eyes? That skillful hand and dirty grin? Ted knew he had no chance against this new, sexually domineering Murray. He stopped resisting and took Murray’s glasses off instead. The wicked eyes, unfocused now, retained their daring glint and Ted leaned in and kissed him again.

Murray let him guide the kiss, keeping one arm around his shoulders but not applying any pressure. His hand moved languidly over Ted’s erection, the throbbing flesh as hard as any he’d ever touched. He wanted Ted to come quickly, but at the same time he also wanted to get to know this cock, to take his time and memorize everything about it. The feel of it in his hand was pleasing, long and slightly crooked, angling a bit to the right, thick but not overly so. It was a cock for all occasions, he thought, and smiled against Ted’s mouth.

It was that smile that did it, making Ted imagine Murray’s soft, supple mouth in place of his hand, all hot and wet, the hunger fueled by love for once, not lust or greed, and he came with a sobbing moan. It was the best orgasm of his life, finally throwing forty years of mediocre sex into clear perspective.

For a moment he was frozen there, clutching Murray’s sharp hip bones even as Murray pulled his hand free and reached for the tissues. He felt oddly embarrassed by his lover’s ministrations, though he hadn’t during the act itself. He blushed faintly as Murray cleaned him off and was strangely flattered that the kid didn’t run to wash his hands. Maybe there was something to be said for this intimacy deal. But after a moment he pushed Murray’s hands away and did up his fly. He didn’t raise his head until his belt was safely buckled, and Murray had the good sense to put his glasses on and wait.

“What about you?” were Ted’s first words.

“Me?”

“Don’t you want to get out the easy one?”

“I’m okay,” Murray said, smiling un-ironically as he adjusted himself inside his jeans.

“Yeah?”

“I want to wait. It won’t interfere with your fun if I come in the middle.”

“If you say so.” He was quiet for a moment, just long enough for it to start to be awkward, and then noticed the apprehension in Murray’s eyes. Probably he’d said the wrong thing, or maybe said a neutral thing in the wrong tone of voice. He had to say something else, something that would take that look from the kid’s face and make him happy again, but he kept coming up empty. Fifty-four years without a romantic relationship had left him totally unprepared for this. Finally, just as Murray was starting to bite his lip, he decided to go with simple honesty. That had worked all right so far.

“You said something about a nap before supper. You want to lie down? You’re looking a little tired.”

“Yeah, I guess so. You—you don’t want to leave, do you?”

“No, ‘course not. I could use a little rest myself. _I_ went to work today, you know.” As he spoke, he took off his holster and hung it over the back of the rolling desk chair.

“You think you work harder than me?”

“I know I do. Now move over, string bean. You’re hogging the whole bed.”

It took them a minute to find the best position, Ted on his side and Murray cuddled against his chest, but by the time they were settled the awkwardness had passed.

“You know, you’re a really good kisser for a guy who’s never had a boyfriend,” Murray remarked. “Where did you learn that?”

“I don’t know. Didn’t know I was.” He stroked Murray’s hair back from his face and looked down into the warm, unfocused eyes. “You’re not jealous, are you? Because you’re the one who was just talking about bringing a parade of men through your bedroom.”

“No, not a parade. Only a few, really. Hardly any. I just don’t like the idea of you kissing a bunch of—you know—hookers.”

“So you’re not jealous, you just don’t like it?” Quinlan teased, still petting his shaggy hair.

“That’s right. I want you to have only been touched with love. Or at least mutual desire. It’s so much sweeter.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Even if he hadn’t known it before, he did now. There was nothing in the world sweeter than Murray’s hands on his body, unless it was his tentative but eager kiss.

“Okay,” Murray said, knowing instinctively how to repay the compliment. “I admit it, I was a little jealous.”

***

Nick made hamburgers and hand-cut fries, which they ate in the galley so Quinlan wouldn’t feel the need to watch the windows all evening. There was a cooler of beer but he kept himself to two and shared one of them with Murray. The conversation was limited to sports and local gossip, and when Murray said afterward that he wanted to take a shower before bed, no one made any jokes. Quinlan helped with the dishes and retired to the forward cabin after a civil goodnight. The guys were in their cabin by the time Murray finished and Quinlan went to the head one last time. Their door was closed, making him feel as if they were protecting his privacy as much as their own, and he was grateful.

Further inspiring his gratitude was Murray himself, who was already in bed, naked under a light blanket. There would be no awkwardness over undressing in the small space, or who should make the first move. The only downside for Ted was that Murray had nothing to do but watch him. He’d been nervous about the handjob, relating it in his mind to empty acts of hired passion, but he’d never been naked in front of a sexual partner and anonymity no longer seemed so bad. The guys he’d been with were in no position to judge him, whereas Murray, who was twenty-some years younger and famous to boot, could take one look at his aging body and rethink this entire thing.

But that was unfair, he realized, as he hung his shirt over the back of a chair with his holster and slowly unbuckled his belt. In the months Ted had spent getting to know him, Murray had never shown any hint of that kind of shallowness. And as close as they’d been already, all the cuddling and snuggling, the nights Murray had spent pressed up against him, head on Ted’s shoulder, his arm around his body, he must already know. Murray could see for himself that Ted’s stomach was a little too round—though still hard with athlete’s muscle—and his pecs were starting to sag. But he was pretty sure he wasn’t a completely unattractive man. Anyway, his face was probably his worst feature and Murray had seen that from the beginning.

He stepped out of his jeans, took off his socks, then hesitated and reached for the desk lamp.

“Want me to turn off the light?”

“No. You should be able to see what you’re doing, don’t you think?”

“What am I going to be doing?”

“Well, it’s really up to you, but I’m hoping you’ll want to make love to me.”

Ted’s heart leapt painfully in his chest and a light sweat broke out over his body. But even in his anxiety, his cock began to rise and his boxers suddenly felt too tight.

“I’m gonna need you to define that,” he said, his mouth like cotton.

“I want you inside me,” Murray told him with simple dignity. “It’ll be good, you’ll see.”

“I believe you,” he said faintly, but his mind was racing. _Not tonight; it’s too soon! I don’t know how! What if I hurt you? What if I make you cry? I can’t stand it if you cry, I can’t stand it—_ and then Murray spoke again, cutting his thoughts off cleanly, leaving no doubt.

“For me, too. I can tell you’re not too sure about that, but trust me. If you’re as thoughtful tonight as you have been for the last two months, it’ll be great.”

“And if I forget to be—thoughtful?”

“You won’t. Just come to bed. _Lieutenant_ ,” he added suggestively. This was also his first time being naked in front of Ted, but he wasn’t nearly as self-conscious. He knew the effect that his long, lean body had on some men, and obviously Ted was one of them. He wouldn’t ask for much in return. Still, Ted didn’t move until Murray sat up and let the blanket fall to his waist. For the first time he saw the scars on Murray’s chest and belly, ghosts of the metal that had so recently been imbedded in his flesh. He’d seen the scars that scored the scrawny legs, or at least the ones that showed below the hem of his shorts, but this was different. This was something that probably no one but Nick and Cody had seen—something that would only be revealed to his closest friends and future lovers.

Suddenly Ted needed to touch them. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Murray’s chest, tracing the pale pink ridges with his finger. Following the tangled tracks led him gradually beneath the puddled blanket where Murray was half-hard, his most vulnerable areas miraculously unscathed by the accident. He leaned in and kissed Murray softly, his hands still exploring the scarred flesh. Murray let him for a few moments and then coaxed him into lying down, encouraging him to get closer.

The sudden heat of full-body, skin-to-skin contact made him tremble and for a few seconds he was ashamed, as if Murray didn’t expect him to be apprehensive. But Murray just went on kissing him, soothing his nerves with experienced yet somehow innocent hands. By the time he reached for his bag of supplies, Ted had regained some of his confidence and was ready for whatever came next. He watched in rapt fascination as Murray, lying on his side, one knee pulled forward to expose his vulnerable hole, gradually worked a well-lubed dildo inside himself. Ted had never seen anyone, man or woman, use a thing like that, and for a few seconds he wondered if it hurt. If it would hurt when he followed it with his longer, thicker cock. But the very idea of penetration swept away his questions and replaced them with simple desire. He wanted to feel that tight flesh spreading around him, hot and welcoming, squeezing him as it squeezed the inanimate rubber.

His hand went to Murray’s cock almost of its own accord, reaching beneath the sheltering thigh and stroking it gently. He hadn’t touched a man in years, but Murray arched and purred as if it were the best thing he’d ever felt. The dildo slipped deeper as he thrust into Ted’s hand, making Ted wonder again if it hurt. He wanted badly not to hurt Murray, but as he watched he realized that he had to do this no matter what. He had to be inside this sweet, sexy man whom he loved, to unite his flesh with that of the only person who had ever loved him back.

“Murray,” he whispered, his mouth dry with need. “Are you almost ready?”

“Almost. Just put on a condom, love.” He saw a flicker of uncertainty cross Ted’s face and smiled. “It’ll help you last longer, that’s all.”

“I’m about to come just watching you,” he said, even as he stopped stroking and reached for the rubber.

“You come whenever you’re ready.” Murray put the dildo aside and took off his glasses. He shifted the rest of the way onto his stomach and folded his arms under his head.

“I don’t know what to do,” Ted murmured, ashamed of the depths of his ignorance.

“Yes you do. I just showed you.” He spread his legs a little more and Ted decided he had no choice but to take him at his word. It had been twenty-five years since he had done anything even vaguely like this, so it was with great care that he laid himself upon Murray’s back and guided his cock with one trembling hand. Murray felt his uncertainty at war with his desire, felt the hesitation of hard flesh on the brink of penetration, and pushed himself up to meet it. Ted froze, holding his breath as Murray pressed the head of his cock inside.

As soon as he felt that exquisite grip he had no choice but to shove into it, his mind wiped clean of all thoughts save the need for more—more heat, more pressure, more _pleasure_ —and he flung himself into that soft, sweet slice of heaven, barely hearing Murray’s groans. He paused when he reached his full depth, pushed Murray’s hair aside and licked the sweat from the back of his neck, then pulled back and thrust again. This time he heard the groans and they went to the base of his spine like bass notes, vibrating throughout his frame. Murray was rocking beneath him, encouraging him to move harder and faster, and Ted abandoned all pretense of control. It lasted maybe a minute—the longest, shortest, wildest, safest, most amazing minute of his life—and Murray generously clenched his ass and bucked harder as he felt his lover come, giving every iota of pleasure that he could.

“Oh, shit,” Ted sighed, half-laughing as he collapsed on the narrow back. The other half was something closer to a sob, but Murray understood. “My god, baby. Oh my god.”

“I knew you’d figure it out,” Murray grinned. But he sounded out of breath and that reminded Ted that he was too big to just lie around on top of the kid all night. He sat up, pulling out and nearly losing the condom in the process, and Murray gave him a handful of tissues. Ted remembered to be considerate and wipe off the excess lube before lying down gathering him in his arms. Murray snuggled close and pressed his erection frankly against Ted’s thigh.

“I thought you were gonna come in the middle,” Ted remarked to cover his embarrassment.

“I meant to, I just got caught up in—you. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I could come just by rubbing up against you.”

“Well, hell, I could have, too. You didn’t need to—to…”

“But I wanted to. Ted, that was great for me and it’ll be even better next time. For now, just jerk me off so I can go to sleep, okay?”

“Just jerk you off?” he repeated with mock offense. “No, I don’t think so. I might not know anything about relationships, but a lover’s supposed to do better than that, right?”

“It depends on the situation,” Murray laughed. “If we were in a hurry, or in public, jerking off would be encouraged. But everything is acceptable, Ted. I know you love me, it doesn’t need proving.”

“Okay, everything’s acceptable. But you deserve something nice and I want to give it to you.” He kissed Murray softly, cradling his head in one hand, and gradually coaxed him into sitting up. He plumped a pillow behind Murray’s back and settled him comfortably against the wall, half-reclining with his long legs sprawled out invitingly. Ted took a moment to caress the length of his body, pinching his nipple because he’d liked it when Murray did it to him, and then stroking him fully erect again. That long cock, curving gently against his pale belly, was the first one Ted had seen in years. It was the first one he’d cared enough to touch since he heard that touching them could be fatal, and until now he hadn’t missed it. But this one was beautiful, thick and full and darkly red at the tip—red with the desire of the man he loved. He bent down fearlessly and took it into his mouth, sucking eagerly as Murray gasped and moaned.

Ted worked him over with surprising skill, using all the tricks that tricks had used on him, and Murray came quickly. He warned Ted, calling his name and trying to push him away, but Ted was stronger and held his place, sucking and swallowing as Murray shot against the back of his throat. So it was Murray’s turn to laugh nervously and wait to be judged. But Ted just helped him lie down again, holding him close and smiling rather smugly as Murray gradually relaxed in his arms.

“I—I didn’t expect that,” Murray whispered, hiding his face against Ted’s shoulder. “You didn’t have to swallow.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You liked it, didn’t you?”

“It was great, but—but you said you didn’t do that.”

“I don’t do it with other men. I also don’t sleep in other men’s beds, or kiss them, or fuck them. And you’re not the only who’s ever asked me to, either. So get it through your head that you’re special, okay?”

“Okay. I—I love you, Ted.”

“Yeah, I figured. I love you, too, baby.”

Murray smiled happily at the affectionate diminutive and snuggled closer, sighing a contented sigh as Ted kissed his tousled hair. This was going to be a difficult relationship in a lot of ways, for a lot of reasons, but this part, the private intimacy part, was only getting easier.


End file.
